Speculations and Spectacles

bitching about bitches … and other musings


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THE BACHELOR FINALE! …NEED I SAY MORE?!

First of all, I apologize for not blogging the Women Tell All, I did watch it but I’ve been battling this dumb cold for a week now and really wasn’t feeling up to blogging last week. But MAN the WTA episode was more than half TIERRA being delusional?! Seriously, then it was AshLee being a psycho bitch with beautiful hair. And pretty much no one else talked, wtf?! For anyone reading this, do you think Sean really told AshLee he had absolutely no feelings for the other two women?! I think that’s pretty unlikely, she probably heard what she wanted to hear the whole time she was on the show. She’s a bit too nuts and serious for me, I hope she isn’t the next Bachelorette, although she is pretty to look at.

ALRIGHT, NOW ONTO THE FINALE:

  • What is this live studio audience thing?! Are we watching Survivor?
  • OHAI ELEPHANT, I totally got an elephant post card in the mail today!
  • Sean’s family is visiting! How nice, they get a free trip to Thailand!
  • “Emily didn’t pick you” -little boy HAHAHA
  • Momma Lowe is skeptical!
  • Aw Catherine looks so cute!
  • Momma and Catherine chat time! Uh oh, I’m anxious for her!
  • I love how she gave him notes the first few weeks! We didn’t really get to see that though, we only saw one!
  • AW Sean’s dad said the sweetest things to Catherine!
  • Sean is still confused, Sean is always confused.
  • Commercial
  • BUTT TAP! WHO SAW THAT?!
  • Lindsay’s voice kinda bugs me :/
  • OH MY GOD THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT HER ARRIVING IN THE WEDDING DRESS FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME! I wish I actually counted how many times this has been brought up.
  • BLAAAAH Lindsay is crying, talking about how Sean’s family prayed for Sean’s future wife.
  • LOL she asked for Sean’s hand in marriage.
  • Sean’s dad is wearing a pink undershirt!
  • So many tears from Lindsay.
  • Okay, so both girls got along with the family… now what?!
  • Also he said more about Lindsay after the family date… is he leaning towards her?!
  • Oh okay, “I think I could have a long happy marriage with either one of the girls”, okay Sean. You is confused.
  • Commercial
  • Momma Lowe lays it out on the line, and says “you don’t need to propose to either one of them” True that!
  • Momma Lowe is now crying “I couldn’t make a decision in 3 days so I don’t know how you will” UH OH.
  • HI CAMERA MAN IN THE BACKGROUND!
  • Commercial
  • Oh, hello there live audience & CHRIS HARRISON ❤
  • Final dates! Nice neon blue tank, Sean 😉
  • “I can’t believe how much I love him” -Lindsay blah blah
  • “I can picture you being a hot old chick” -Every girl wants to hear this, haha
  • Commercial
  • “I could leave with everything I’ve ever wanted and more… or I could leave with nothing” -Lindsay HAHAHA
  • So Sean saying don’t be nervous makes it seem like she’s the one, but $10 says he’ll say the same to Catherine! :/
  • What if these wish lanterns make Sean realize that Catherine is the one?! That would suck for Lindsay.
  • “At this moment, I really think she is the one for me” KEY WORDS: at this moment … uhhhhh
  • Commercial
  • “I woke up this morning a little stressed out”… I wonder why!
  • It’s a purple day for Catherine and Sean
  • Oh my gosh, Catherine is so excited about the Elephant. This is adorable.
  • “OH MY GOD we’re riding an elephant. THAILAND. what?” -Catherine, hahaha
  • Catherine holds back her emotions a little bit more when she is around Sean, if she doesn’t tell him how she feels she’ll end up like Lesley her lady-bud!
  • Commercial
  • Catherine just seems so genuine when she talks seriously. “I feel a lot” , AWWW.
  • “It melts my heart, the only thing holding me back is knowing there is still Lindsay” … yikes!
  • HEART BEATS, hahahahahaahaaaa.
  • She says “I love you” while his hand is on her butt, awesome!
  • AH YIKES, SHE’S FREAKING OUT! Is she not feeling it?!
  • “He has to be crazy about both of us at this point” -Well she’s got that right.
  • CHRIS HARRISON talking to the audience! Why am I not there to smash everyone’s dreams?! HAHA
  • Commercial
  • SHIRTLESS SEAN… wearing a towel skirt. HAWT!
  • HE’S MADE UP HIS MIND! holy moly. Finally. The. Day. of.
  • Hiiiii Neil Lane! OOH he picked out a nice ring!
  • OMG HE’S CRYING!
  • Lindsay’s crying in her talk to the camera, TEARS FOR ALL!
  • Wow, they are both wearing sparkly dresses.
  • Catherine’s crying too. ALL DA TEARS!
  • “You know who’s gonna win, one girls is in gold and the other is in silver” – My Dad
  • SUSPENSEFUL COMMERCIAL BREAK
  • “300 girls and 1 dude” – My dad
  • The fans like Catherine better!
  • OMG WHY IS PSYCHO ASHLEE THERE?!
  • AshLee’s putting in her two-cents.
  • 3/4 previous contestants think it’s Lindsay! Interesting. I think it’s Catherine.
  • Commercial
  • HERE IT ISSSSSS!
  • Is that a tea bag next to the rose?!
  • “I didn’t know it would be this tough to say goodbye”
  • “Silver’s the loser, gold is the winner” -My Dad
  • “Today is the day I get engaged” … No, sorry its not Lindsay :/
  • SHE KNOWS, THE MOMENT SHE SEE’S HIM. It’s not happening for her. YIKES SO PAINFUL!
  • But his speech seems like he could propose… but at the end of all the compliments “This is the toughest thing I have to do”
  • THE MUSIC, hahahaha. The same tune they use for everyone going home.
  • “Is it me?” -Lindsay… WELL DUH! That’s the dumbest question. If you aren’t getting proposed to, it is you.
  • Well at least she stayed composed and civil, I’m impressed with your response, Lindsay.
  • “That’s the first time she’s been intelligent” -My Dad, hahahahaa
  • “Someone had to lose” -My Dad
  • THE NOTE IS FROM CATHERINE!
  • Did Chris Harrison just say the wrong name of the girl who went home?
  • YES, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS IN THE LETTER!
  • Commercial
  • TELL ME WHAT’S IN THE NOTE!!! STOP TALKING CHRIS HARRISON! (I still love you though)
  • Oh, the letter is a sweet letter. Way to confuse the viewers!
  • That letter was adorable!
  • Blinks McGee Catherine!
  • Is she still breathing?! Catherine! Deep breaths!
  • Sparkly ring to go with a sparkling dress!
  • What if she said yes to marriage but no to the final rose?! HAHA
  • What is this magical Disney music?
  • ELEPHANT!
  • Are we in the Lion King?! What was that elephant noise at the end?!
  • WE GET TO FIND OUT WHO THE NEW BACHELORETTE IS TONIGHT! OH SHIT, IS THAT WHY ASHLEE IS THERE? Fuck. (excuse my french) I hope it’s Lesley or Sarah instead of AshLee!
  • I’m happy for him.
  • OMG there were tears in the live audience?! Hahaha
  • Ahhhh, Lindsay is there?! How heartbreaking 😦 Seeing each other for the first time since Thailand!
  • Commercial
  • I like Lindsay’s dress! Gosh, she wants to know what happened. Has she never broken up with someone before?
  • At least she’s happy for him, that’s nice. Good thing AshLee didn’t make it to the final two, she would have been so much more angry!
  • TOO MANY QUESTIONS, LINDSAY!
  • Oh no, she’s gonna cry again.
  • NO SHE BROUGHT UP THE WEDDING DRESS AGAIN!
  • Commercial
  • He looks so happy to see her, thats so cute.
  • HAHA she could see him in old age when they were in Canada!
  • Commercial
  • They have news?! Do they have a wedding date or is she preggers?! HAHA
  • Watching their proposal, how funny/sort of awkward.
  • HAHA she’s laughing at her reactions!
  • Sean’s crying! Awww how cute!
  • WEDDING ON TV TOO! Wow, I hope it actually happens! Has any Bachelor actually gotten married to their winner? I know Bachelorettes have.
  • It’s only been a year since he went on the show for Emily?! How weird to think about!
  • & next we get to find out who the next Bachelorette is!
  • Commercial
  • YAY THE NEXT BACHELORETTE IS DESIREE! She’ll be fun to watch!
  • But yeah of course it’s her, the wedding dress designer. HAHA!
  • She’s crying too! Yikes!
  • “In your wildest dreams” – Chris Harrison makes everything more dramatic.
  • What about her brother, will he continue to be a dick to everyone who dates his sister?!
  • “Thank you sooo much, thank you sooo much, thank you soooo MUCH” -Des

ALRIGHT FOLKS, SEE YOU IN THE SUMMER FOR THE BACHELORETTE, I GUESS!

Thanks for reading and watching along with me!

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The Bachelor Episode 9: FANTASY SUITES! Eating bugs and referring to Sean as ‘This Man’

THAILAND! … and over-night dates with a born-again virgin? ABC, you clearly realize sex sells

  • “It’s amazing to think these are my last 3 girls” I’m pretty sure he said this about his last 5, then 4 girls too.
  • He’s on a boat, alone, standing at the front. HOW LONELY. and yet how ridiculous.
  • Close up on scratched up knee. Ooh, he’s rugged 😉
  • OHAI bright blue MAN tank.
  • LOL HAMMOCK, I’m not even listening to what he is saying, these shots are too funny!
  • “My relationship with AshLee is probably the strongest relationship I have” -Sean… I really didn’t get that by watching. She’s too annoying. & no I don’t think Sean is CRAZY about her. It’s forced, you’re too similar or something.
  • AshLee aka Tears McGee
  • LOL Sean just said the same thing about a future with AshLee that he said about a future with Catherine!
  • Oh yeah lets mention for the 433rd time that Lindsay showed up the first night in a wedding dress. “She’s not the crazy girl I thought she was” SHUT UP.
  • “My heart is torn” so I’m gonna swim in the pool by myself and ponder my existence and future.

seanpoolchoosewife

  • Commercial
  • Lindsay gets the first date, and they are both wearing pastels, gross.
  • “It’s hard to look at beautiful Thailand, while I have this gorgeous guy sitting next to me” -Lindsay. Oh whatever.
  • WHY ARE THE BABY CHICKS COLORED?!
  • “You are not supposed to be pink” -Sean to baby chick. HAHAH!
  • I like that Lindsay realizes that the past dates are not normal, not RL
  • OOH THEY ARE GONNA EAT BUGS! Cool.

BUGS

  • This bug eating thing is hilarious, “I saw how brave Sean was” so she ate a bug too. I don’t know if I would call eating a delicacy “brave”
  • IF THESE GIRLS REFER TO SEAN AS “MAN” “THIS MAN” ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO VOMIT ON MY LAPTOP.
  • “You’re the best friend I’ve been looking for” -Sean, WOW, that’s kinda a big statement, lets see who he says it to next.
  • MONKEYS!
  • I like the monkeys photo-bombing their sunset silhouette shots

monkeyphotobomb

  • Commercial
  • Whoa, look at the flowers in the grass… and all those lights?
  • This is kinda crazy to just sit and eat in front of this stuff, I guess its fun for us to watch.
  • They should have a short series called Life After The Bachelor for the booted off contestants. Basically it would be them sulking in their hometowns and being mopey in their beds eating ice cream and Chris Harrison visiting them and asking serious questions.
  • Right before she’s able to say “I love you” all these performers come out! That shit cray.

lindsaynightdatewithperformers

  • FANTASY SUITE?!? … they say yes! OOH LA LA.
  • This is awkward… SHE SAID IT.
  • “I love you” … “I love hearing you say that” HAHAHAAAAA

tweetlove

  • Commercial
  • AshLee’s date now!
  • “I’m here with the love of my life” – AshLee
  • Okay, I’m gonna take a nap for AshLee and Sean’s date because its gonna be full of tears, metaphors, “this man”, and “love”.
  • “I just hope he feels the same way” – AshLee… he doesn’t have as much fun with her as the other girls.
  • and now for a BONUS tweet, from previous Bachelorette contestant Arie:

arieashleebikini

  • CAAAAVE!
  • Why is it so weird to swim into a cave? You’re not really alone, theres a film crew, or is it just a go-pro? … There is definitely a film crew.
  • “I think it’s important for AshLee to let go of control” -Sean
  • “I don’t do caves” – AshLee

ashleecaves

  • “You have to let go, otherwise you don’t fall in love” – AshLee, HAHA OH MY, another great AshLee quote making shit all sentimental.
  • Oh wow, they made it through the cave! I’m sure production checked out out and went through prior to the filming, I mean come on!
  • METAPHOR TIME, TAKE A SHOT! Oh wait we aren’t playing a drinking game, but if you are take a shot!

ashleemetaphorkiss

  • Mariah Carey’s song “We Belong Together” plays on repeat in AshLee’s head while she’s with Sean
  • It’s gonna suck when she goes home. *prediction*
  • Commercial
  • “Every part of my being wants to be engaged to Sean next week” -AshLee… just… stop… talking.
  • AshLee is nervous about the overnight date, she’s thinking about her morals! and remembers there are 2 other girls, dun dun DUN.
  • AshLee “I don’t take things lightly” Whateverherlastnameis
  • OMG SEAN, WE GET IT, YOU ARE FALLING IN LOVE WITH ALL THE GIRLS!
  • Too bad Neil Lane won’t provide three engagement rings
  • Umm… she said yes to the fantasy suite, what was all that about morals then?!
  • They’re probably just going to cuddle and fall asleep making metaphors about their relationship together.
  • “Honestly, before I met Sean I had a broken spirit, I guess” what’s going to happen when she gets sent home?!
  • This man has literally healed my broken heart” what happens when he re-breaks it?! Shit’s gonna get real thats what will happen.
  • Commercial
  • Ao Nang Beach- I first read as Ain’t No Thang Beach.
  • Titanic moment, STAAAHP IT.

catherinetitanic2

  • “Of the three remaining girls I think our lives are the most different.” -Sean
  • Catherine gets into this crazy-eyed thousand-mile gaze when she talks about serious stuff.
  • Oh noooo Catherine said “this man
  • OOH She did a back flip off the boat, that was cool!

catherineoceankiss

  • Catherine and Sean make the crazy weather come out, first a blizzard and now a rainy thunder storm out at sea.
  • But it’s okay they’re just gonna make out in the crazy weather

kissinginrain

  • Commercial 
  • “I feel like Catherine gets me better than everyone else” All these things Sean says just confuse me.
  • Oh, and you can see yourself marrying Catherine as well?! Big surprise!
  • Catherine talks about Fantasy Suites before the card even comes out!
  • Oh, theres the card… and she says yes also!
  • “I fell in love with Sean today” -Catherine, but did she tell him that?
  • Back in LA with Chris Harrison! We’ve missed you Chris! Oh this is just an ad for Oz…
  • Commercial

final2

  • Sean’s wearing purple again.
  • “I never pictured myself saying goodbye to this person” -Sean
  • Look at those baby blues, they look so sad.
  • “Is your wife here?” -Chris Harrison
  • He’s in love?! Does he already know the winner now?
  • PRIVATE VIDEO MESSAGES?! Interesting.
  • Commercial
  • OMG WITH THE FREAKING WEDDING DRESS, STOP TALKING ABOUT IT. YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO SAY!?
  • AshLee’s video seems forced, or like she’s reading from a script. She’s crying, my god, calm the F down!
  • Okay, Sean looks uncomfortable, he’s sending her home!

watchingashleesvideo

  • Commercial
  • “The rain is very fitting today.” -Sean OOOH NOOO, someone is getting sent home in the rain.
  • “I just know I’m not supposed to be with her” -Sean ouch!
  • I like that Lindsay just cursed under her breath.
  • Was this long pause really this long in the moment?
  • AshLee is going home! Oh gosh, she looks not happy.
  • STARE OFF!
  • OH WOW, she doesn’t even want to talk to him.
  • “I thought it was you from the very beginning” -Sean stealing a line from Emily Maynard.
  • She looks so pissed! I’m surprised she isn’t crying!
  • BYE ASHLEE, you serious bitch.
  • Is he sitting in the rain, alone?! While Lindsay and Catherine look on?!

seansittingsentashleehome

  • Is she really trying not to cry on camera after she has so many other times?
  • The finale isn’t for 2 weeks?! But next week is women tell all!

Check back tomorrow for photos!