Speculations and Spectacles

bitching about bitches … and other musings


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The Bachelorette Episode 3: Flying Balls, Broken Bones, Girlfriends, & Cowboys

BRO DRAMA is my favorite.

  • MANsion filled with dudes in v-necks
  • GROUP DATE “some stud named Mikey” -Mikey, hahaha
  • I don’t think Des’s hot pink shirt is bright enough
  • Dodgeball, I’m glad I’m not playing.
  • Oh my gosh, scary, did you see that guy smash a ball against the wall? *slight sarcasm, slight seriousness*
  • Luscious Locks Brooks has a ponytail…. YESSS
  • Oooh a winner takes all VERY PUBLIC match, shits gettin’ real
  • OMG they are at The Americana! What?!
  • Commercial
  • Yikes
  • How did we end up with two skinny dudes? Drew vs Chris
  • Of course they are even now, each team 1 point.
  • “MAN DOWN”
  • Brooks finger is broken? and bleeding… OUCH
  • Down to one on one!
  • Blue team wins!
  • OH SURPRISE EVERYONE GETS TO GO TO THE AFTER PARTY (they always do this)
  • Commercial
  • OMG Brooks passed out when he finger was realigned?! and now he is going to the ER?! Aw šŸ˜¦
  • Brad who?
  • … He wants to open up to Des about something serious.
  • HE HAS A 3 YEAR OLD SON! They made that seem like he used to be a druggie or something.
  • Oh wait, he does have a tricky past.
  • DATE CARD back at the MANsion
  • #Kasey gets the date!
  • “You know I would absolutely love the rose” -OC Bro Brandon, LAWL
  • Chris found an awesome rooftop spot, AW ADORBS
  • Poor Brooks is still in his dodgeball outfit!!!
  • Chris gets the rose! HOLLA
  • He gets some extra alone time & a private concert? Oh okay… and the other guys have to sit and listen.
  • UH OH OC Bro Brandon sees them dancing and kissing
  • The kisses seems to be coming faster this season then they did in The Bachelor.
  • Wouldn’t it be weird to be a singer and be performing for just two people who are making out?
  • Commercial
  • “I love this entire group of guys” – Des
  • Her phone is ringing… what’s going on?
  • “I have some bizarre news about one of your guys” -Chris Harrison
  • “What a BLEEEEEP” -Des, HAHA
  • Pink shirt Bryan… it’s time to talk
  • OMG the guys’ faces when the girlfriend walked in
  • “Oh geez!” -Bryan
  • Commercial
  • Girlfriend is pissed off!
  • He hasn’t had a chance to talk yet…
  • Ahhh he slept with his girlfriend two days before he left for the show!
  • Commercial
  • This girl is really pissed off but she needs to stop talking for a minute.
  • “What am I supposed to tell my son?” -Girlfriend AHHHH HAHA
  • OMG the guys bedroom is so messy
  • “WHOA! That room is worse then Paulina’s room!” -My Dad
  • … I kind of wanted to hear Bryan’s side of the story, but I still would have sent him home.
  • Finally time for #Kasey’s date
  • OC Bro Brandon is SOOO EMOTIONAL & SO CRAY
  • His story is sad, but maybe he should get some therapy.
  • SOMEONE HUG HIM.
  • Commercial
  • Zak W’s crazy eyes are crazy.
  • Dancing on the side of a building? COOL
  • Vadalooping? is that what its called?
  • HAHAHA a little awkward
  • WHOA check out that wind!
  • oh no, the rose is gonna blow away!
  • Omg, why wasn’t the pool heated?!
  • Such an awkward date!
  • The rose didn’t blow away, so he gets the rose!
  • The guys should just put the roses behind their ears instead of on their shirts.
  • Commercial
  • Wild West group date!
  • THEY ARE SERIOUSLY ALL WEARING V-NECKS, so odd.
  • OOH the stunt team for The Loan Ranger
  • Oh look we get to watch clips from The Loan Ranger, nice work ABC/Disney, promoting your own movie!
  • Des has a surprise for them… Horsies!
  • “Saddle up and save the lady”
  • “We got a date with the sunset” -Bryden HAHA I love this
  • HAHAHA Dan’s pants split!
  • Juan Pablo is the best cowboy!
  • Juan Pablo’s english is hilarious, they make it seem like he can barely speak, but he just talked fine in confessional!
  • “It’s the best date I’ve had in forever” -Des… you mean since yesterday when you said that
  • Commercial
  • Drankin out of mason jars!
  • YES BRYDEN PUSHED HIS BANGS ASIDE, IT LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER!
  • “When we kiss it’s… AWESOME” -Bryden, he’s so cute
  • Zak W. is SO AWKWARD, GO HOME, crazy eyes.
  • He made an attempt to kiss her? Swhaaa?
  • Lovedrunk? or just drunk?
  • All these little dates are so cute!
  • James’s dad is ill back at home šŸ˜¦ aw!
  • He’s gonna get the rose…
  • “Will you accept my daisy?” HAHA so cute!
  • Oh I think he just went in for a kiss and got a cheek, woops!
  • Oh its okay though because he got a real kiss too
  • Commercial
  • Chris Harrison with a slight changed of plans: no cocktail party!
  • But we get a daytime pool party instead!
  • OMG Brooks dance, HAHA
  • WOAH FILF Ben takes Des for a mini one on one date, a 15 minute car ride.
  • But seriously, why is Ben wearing that weird tank top?
  • The other dudes still hate Ben… but I’m not so sure that I see it as him cheating?
  • Ben’s little secret has turned into a LIE. MIKEY DON’T LIKE LIES!
  • “I can’t unscramble that egg” -Michael G, the diabetic
  • Emotional Bro Brandon, is seriously talking to Des
  • Uh oh, is he gonna cry again?
  • “I’m never going to hurt you”
  • AWKWARD KISS
  • Sausage fest in the hot tub… they are still in it when Des gets out.
  • Commercial
  • ROSE CEREMONY
  • Fancy blue dress! Kinda awkward though.
  • Zak W got a rose :/ Crazy eyes is still in it.
  • She’s obviously keeping Hot Dad Ben… why do they make her keep him until last?
  • OC Bro Brandon and Split Pants Dan are going home šŸ˜¦
  • Bye Bros!
  • Why do the guys really dislike Ben? I’m not seeing it…
  • Is Ben really the Tierra of this season???
  • WHOA WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW WITH BRANDON & DES.
  • HE’S SO BUMMED SO EARLY ON
  • “I pretty much just got my heart smashed with a hammer” -Brandon
  • Brandon, if you are reading this please go into therapy. You seem like a sweet dude, but I think you need some emotional help.
  • Previews:
  • WHOA SAND CASTLES NEXT WEEK! & A MR. AMERICA PAGEANT!!!!
  • Ohhhh even Bryden doesn’t like Ben, he must be bad.
  • OH NO BRYDEN IS GONNA BE A TATTLE TALE, I hope it doesn’t turn and bite him in the butt. :/
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The Bachelorette Episode 2: Right Reasons LOL

Heeeere we gooo!

  • Luscious Locks Brooks gets the first 1 on 1 date!
  • Des’s thing for this season is gonna be her sketching before every episode.
  • QT Drew is wearing a purple sweatshirt made out of towel material… uh…
  • Hot Dad Ben can’t pronounce “genuine”, awkward
  • Commercial
  • Is Des wearing a bumpit in her hair?
  • They’re trying wedding dresses and tuxes, kinda weird.
  • They have a date on the Hollywood sign?! in wedding clothes? So strange, for the first date.
  • They’re sitting on the “L” for Love.
  • First kiss of the season!
  • Commercial
  • Driving down a closed road… this is set up, duh!
  • How did they know who wanted red or white wine before they arrived? and are they going to drink it?
  • The generic sad bachelor music is on for Brooks’s sad story about his dad.
  • Back at the Man Mansion: many dudes getting a group date. The dudes are drinking red wine, classy.
  • Luscious Locks Brooks is here to stay.
  • Omg, he smiles when he’s nervous, I love it.
  • Here’s the first private concert of the season… & awkward dancing and singing along, they obviously didn’t drink enough of that wine.
  • “Can it get any better than this?” Um, yes Des, it can, we still have a whole season ahead of us!
  • Commercial
  • “Did somebody tell them to wear bright shirts? With nothing on them?” -My Mom
  • They are starring in their own rap videos! How awkward for all the white dudes.
  • Soulja Boy is there! “Love is a little bit like Hip Hop” If you say so!
  • Was that a shimmy?!
  • I love when guys need to learn dance moves.
  • WHY DOES COSTA MESA BRO BRANDON NOT HAVE PANTS ON?
  • Ben the FILF is up
  • Aw poor Bro Brandon is having such a hard time šŸ˜¦ Give him some pants!
  • How about Soulja Boy gets a rose and two guys go home tonight?
  • Commercial
  • Lets find out who is really here for the right reasons…
  • Shirtless Zak has crazy eyes… and a shirt on now.
  • Such an odd gift for someone you don’t know.
  • “When you see me smile, this is how I experience life” … wait, what?
  • “Love is like a butterfly” -Costa Mesa Bro Brandon
  • FILF Ben is being a HAWK.
  • “I got swooped” -Mikey T. hahaha!
  • Where does ABC get their blankets for these shows?!
  • FILF Ben goes for another swoop, this time a swoop for a kiss.
  • Costa Mesa Bro Brandon sees & gets bummed out. WAH WAH šŸ˜¦
  • Commercial
  • Michael G. wants women to be treated correctly! “Not on my watch”
  • “Realness is missing” -Mikey on FILF Ben
  • Manfrontation between Mikey and Ben! AH. Is Ben already the Tierra of this season?! Ben better talk about his sparkle when he goes home.
  • “I like your shoes, man” This is how dudes settle disputes.
  • DATE CARD back at the MANsion
  • Y SO SERIOUS Bryden gets the next date!
  • “She’s absolutely perfect, she’s an angel” – Bro Brandon
  • “I was born, I had a dad and a mom like you did” -Bro Brandon
  • SOB STORY TIME, Bro Brandon just wants to share errrrthang right off the bat. It kinda explains why he’s a bit strange though.
  • “I just want to love you” -Bro Brandon
  • Kinda shocked FILF Ben got the rose over Costa Mesa Bro Brandon.
  • Wait… everyone on the show has feelings for Ben according to him?
  • Commercial
  • Okay, the guys’ shirts/v-necks are really bugging my mom.
  • ROAD TRIIIIIIP! Spring Break! HOLLA!
  • “California embodies everything that I am” Oh okay, Des.
  • Bryden seems cool.
  • They’re in an orange grove… and now Ojai! Hippyville, EYO!
  • Commercial
  • Ojai OHAI šŸ˜‰
  • Bryden’s hair bugs me.
  • SOB STORY #3 Bryden got in a gnarly accident when he was in college, yikes!
  • He just has those pictures in his pocket?! From the accident?!!!!
  • Who had to light all these candles?
  • “It doesn’t seem like you open up easily” yet you had those pictures in your pocket…
  • More candles! I feel bad for the intern who had to light them all.
  • Hot tub time, awkward small talk, pre-kiss…AMIRIGHT?!
  • Kiss #3 of the night, you go Bryden.
  • Commercial
  • Another Rose Ceremony Another Sparkly Dress
  • Michael has type 1 diabetes and starts to tell Des about it but FILF Ben steals Des away, how lame!
  • FILF Ben the swooper
  • Mikey is pissed even though it didn’t happen to him (this time)
  • Commercial
  • WHOA Michael is manfronting Ben. Yikes!
  • “He chose the wrong person to lie to” -Michael
  • I can’t believe there is already bro drama, this early in the season.
  • Why is this dude carrying her? Whaaaat was this guy’s name :/
  • “The D word”… HAHA Divorce! That took me a minute.
  • (That was Brian)
  • Commercial
  • Rose Ceremony
  • ONE ROSE LEFT FOUR DUDES LEFT
  • Costa Mesa Bro Brandon gets the last rose
  • Will da Banker is going home, Robert the spinning sign entrepreneur is going home, and so is Nick M (…who?) Ā šŸ˜¦
  • Preview: More Ben drama coming up
  • This music video is waaaaay white.