Okay, so what’s up with Miley Cyrus’s new music video?
(Surprise! I’m blogging about something other than The Bachelor[ette])
I mean seriously! It’s like a Terry Richardson and Tyler Shields made a video love child, an awkward, tacky, horrible love child… ( For the record, I don’t think either of them had anything to do with this video) This video consists of every dumb high school party photo pose, as well as Miley acting like a wannabe black chick combined with a rap gangster.
She’s obviously obsessed with her butt, she has posted pictures & videos of her behind previously and honestly, I think we see her booty more than her face in this new video.
I love awkward things/moments/etc but this video is TOO awkward even for me.
I’m gonna try something here, I’m gonna write a live a response to the video as I watch it and see what happens, let me know if you like it or not:
- “We Can’t Stop” in giant yellow lettering: hipster beginning found in many music videos now.
(JUST NOW NOTICED THE SCISSORS CUTTING THE ANKLE MONITOR, stop trying to be Lindsay Lohan)
- Pink BEATS by Dre speaker, blinged out hand… aiiight Miley.
- Oh god, popping in two gold teeth?! Is that a grill? WTF is that? (we are only 10 seconds into this damn video)
(why, the faces?!)
- Smoke coming out of some chick’s crotch. SO COOL, not.
- Okay, I would like to roast marshmallows from candles.
- OHAI BOOTY SHOT
- When did Miley get all these tats?!
(I can count!)
- Oh cool, some dude eating a sandwich of money. Thanks for rubbing it in that I am poor. PS- you probably have diseases now, money ain’t clean, fool!
($HUNEDDS, HUNNEDS? OKAY, HUNDREDS$)
- I HAVE THAT LIP GLOSS… PRODUCT PLACEMENT.
- I’m seriously interested if sales are gonna spike for eos now.
- Keep you’re fucking tongue in your mouth, Miley. Stop making weird faces.
- Did that guy have two tongues?!
- Booty shaking with projections on yer bod, um okay
- and now booty slapping.
- lots of weird shit, and now Dancing giants teddy bears?
- More booty moves in a bath tub? Is that a bath tub? or just a box?
- Gyrating with yo legs spread, you’re a classy beezy, Miley.
- Twerk spelled in ravioli on the spoon = Best part.
- OMG more booty shaking, Miley is the only white chick.
(PUT THAT TONGUE BACK IN YOUR MOUTH)
- It’s like she’s a reputable booty shaker since she’s with her black lady friends.
- Best lyrics are right here: “To my homegirls here with the big butts/Shaking it like we at a strip club/Remember only God can judge us/Forget the haters cause somebody loves ya” … So what she’s saying is be a stripper, or at least act like one, because God loves you.
- PS- I might be a hater, woops, I think God still loves me too though.
(#1 white booty award goes to MILEY, she wishes)
- Hm taxidermy, awkward.
- OH and now a GIANT fur coat.
(I’m calling PETA)
- Clever coke reference here: “everyone in line in the bathroom/Trying to get a line in the bathroom”
- Oh Miley, you bad!
- Why is she kissing her mini-me Barbie?
- HIPSTER PARTY
- More crotch smoke, fun, so fun. (I hope you can sense my sarcasm)
- MMM lots of bread, that boy def ain’t gluten free!
- What are these weird faces she keeps making? It’s like tongue out or bearing her teeth 24/7.
- What are these awkward but sexual moves, Miley?
- On a scale of 1 to Uncomfortable… I’m EXTREMELY uncomfortable.
- Booty grab with the black franzzz
- Gosh, this is WAY too easy to make fun of.
- Sun’s out tongues out. Miley’s motto, even when the sun isn’t out.
- High school party pose: (Every girl and possibly guy has done this at least once)
- More tongue, just what the doctor ordered
- Did her head just get stepped on? (3:02)
- She just kissed a passed out dude’s stomach… RAPE
- Some more gyrating on what appears to be grandma’s bed, or at least grandma’s sheets.
- Oh and we end with these odd moment where we feel as if we are taking her picture because she keeps making fucking weird faces.
(Make it stop, oh yes it finally does.)
Alright Miley, my advice: leave the partying music videos to Ke$ha. The song is sort-of catchy though.
aaand I freaking love the gifs people are posting on tumblr with the Disney logo, HAHAHA:
Watch the entire music video here:
